Are We On the Flipside Now?

This week I am extremely happy to say that I lost 2.8 pounds!  Finally!  I had lost 1.6 last week, but I sorta didn't count that since I had gone up the week before that.  I think it's just been the combination of heat, really not wanting to eat, and trying to drink all the water and Powerade Zero I can get my hands on.  I've been SO thirsty.....

Yes, there is a Powerade Zero.....I love it.  I sweat so much since it's been so hot....and I'm glad that I can have some sort of sports drink.

It is one of the worst things to struggle with your weight.  It's draining emotionally since you are investing so much time and sweat into improving yourself and how you look.  I'm not a vain person, but when you've done everything you're supposed to, and you gain 2 pounds, you feel like the fattest and ugliest person in the world.  I'm taking my little vistory this week and running with it.  Here's hoping we're on the flipside....the side where I actually start LOSING weight again.

I'm Still Here....

I'm still alive, I didn't go anywhere.

I've just been taking things one week at a time and trying not to stress over things so much.  My weight had been doing this yo-yo thing, and I was not really impressed with it.  I found myself stressing out over it, and I already had enough stressful things going on in my personal life.  I just decided that I was going to watch my food intake a little more closely, and add in an extra day of exercise each week.  It has been making a difference, albeit a small one.  At this point, I'll take what I can get.  I have noticed body changes, and I've also been taking my blood pressure daily, as well as multivitamins and supplements.

Week 58 and On......

I've decided that I'm not really going to keep track of the weeks anymore.  I've been having a hard time even wanting to write on this blog the past couple months, as evidenced by the fact that it's now MAY and the last time I updated was FEBRUARY.

I have been very unhappy with my weight loss.  Very unhappy...almost to the point of being depressed.  The weight has not come off like I had hoped it would, and I've been seesawing back and forth with the gains and losses.  At last week's WW meeting, we were asked to describe our view of our weight loss journey with the following phrases:  "sizzling hot", "lukewarm", "ice cold"...or some other phrase of our creation.  The phrase of our choice was put on a name label and we were supposed to wear it for an activity.  Sigh.  This alone almost got me crying on the scale, not to mention the slight gain I had.  I think I mumbled that my weight loss journey was "something else" at this point and just collected my shoes and purse and sat down in the meeting room with the rotten sticker in hand.  I couldn't muster up enough "muchness" to put it on.  Sigh.

I've still been making it a point to exercise regularly (at least 4 times a week), and I've been pretty diligent at doing a minimum of 20 minutes a pop at a high intensity.  Anything less is just.....too much less.  I've noticed a lot more definition (despite the ugly ass pudge) in my arms and legs from working out on the rowing machine.  I've also noticed a little more "trimness" through the midsection as well, but I guess I don't see it as much since clothes cover that part all the time.  Thank heavens.  I'll keep the pudge rolls to myself, thank you very much.

Weeks Fifty-One through Fifty-Seven

FINALLY!!!!!!  I had a significant weight loss this week!

The past month or so has been nothing but yo-yo-ing back and forth…..up here, down here, up here, down here.  Needless to say, it’s been frustrating and a bit depressing for me, and I’ve felt like something had to give.

My mom got a rowing machine mid-January (not those funky 80s style ones….but the kind that rowing clubs use for training) and I’ve been putting in some time on that thing each week.   At first, I could barely do 10 minutes without having to stop and take a break, and I had to keep the intensity really low.  Believe it or not, it’s really a big ass-kicking workout since you are actually working your whole body; it’s a deceptively simple looking workout.  Gradually, I’ve upped my time each week, and I’ve upped the intensity of the workout.  Now I alternate between two workouts:  20 minute duration at a higher resistance, or I do 30 minutes (or 5000 meters) at a moderate intensity.  Not only have I noticed that I don’t get winded as quickly, but I’ve also noticed some serious muscle building/toning going on in all the major muscle groups.

 

I have to say that I’m really pleased about that since I don’t dig jiggle, and my arms (we won’t even talk about my stomach) have never been a thing of pride for me.  I can deal with maybe not dropping some serious poundage quickly in exchange for losing inches on the body and toning up that which has been SORELY lacking.

Weeks Forty-Six through Fifty

Weight on.....Weight off. 

Sounds like some wacky Mr. Miyagi thing, doesn't it?

Week Forty-Six:  0.8 pound loss
Week Forty-Seven:  0.4 pound gain
Week Forty-Eight:  3.4 pound gain (I have some REAL choice words for this one....)
Week Forty-Nine:  3.2 pound loss (cue the Happy Dance)
Week Fifty:  0.4 pound gain

Nope....that's been the routine AGAIN.  Seriously, I hate stress.  I really do.  I was all stressed out from learning my new job, and then we had to get ready to move our office to its new location.  Most of December was spent readying for the move, and of course, lots of holiday celebrations and requisite junk food and sweets.  Sigh.  I'm really hoping for some sort of break in this nasty weight-loss roller coaster. 

Please let 2012 be a better year......

Weeks Forty-One Through Forty-Five

I know I haven’t been updating this thing near as often as I should. I hate to cite the excuse that I’ve been busy, but I really have!

This past month has been nothing but frustration for me with my weight.
Week 41: up 1.6
Week 42: down 0.6
Week 43: up 4.0 and one big “what the HELL”
Week 44: down 3.6 and one big “that’s more like it”
Week 45: down 1.0.

I have just been a big mess of stress with my husband being out of town for work and me starting a new job. I know I wasn’t making the smartest food choices sometimes and I know that it showed on the scale. I can’t make any excuses for that, especially when presented with the numbers. I’m just tired of dancing around the same weight for……well, it seems like FOREVER. It just sometimes really sucks your will to live.

More than the irritation, I’m horribly disappointed in myself. I had hoped to be a lot lighter at this point in the game; I had hoped to be about 40-45 pounds lighter at this point, and that’s obviously not happened. I really was hoping to be down 50 pounds by the end of the year and I know I’m going to have to seriously rethink that goal since I know I won’t realistically make that goal AT ALL. I didn’t want to be fat in the holiday pics that are sure to happen, and I guess I’ll have to deal with another year of fat pics. I just hope they don’t make it onto Facebook or something like that. Ugh.

Weeks Thirty-Nine and Forty

Well, the same stupid rollercoaster routine.......

Week Thirty-Nine saw a 2.4 pound gain, and this week (Week Forty) showed a 3 pound loss.  Seriously, I am so tired of this up and down and up and down.  The eating habits have not changed, but the stress level has.  I wish I could say otherwise, but I guess it is what it is.  I just wish I wasn't going into the early part of the holiday season with this current stress level. 

I banged up my baby toe on my right foot today, and that thing hurts way more than a baby toe should.  It's about 3 times normal size and it's all red and bruised.  It hurts to walk on, no big surprise there, so going for daily walks should be interesting since I don't want to put any more weight on it than I need to.  I was on my feet a bit today, and the outside part of my foot hurts a bit.  I HATE it when my feet hurt!